Thursday, September 22, 2011

Anger Management - When Things Get Out of Hand

Every single human displays some levels of anger from time to time. Frustration from complications in the work place or at home, a relationship break up, feelings of sadness or loneliness can cause a person to react with anger. Certain amounts of anger are normal and can actually be healthy for relieving stress or dealing with situations that come up in our everyday lives.

When anger turns into rage a person can lose their better judgment and do irrational things that can be harmful to the people around them or even harmful to themselves. Often times a person will feel out of control in almost every aspect of their life when they get to this point. Every little thing that goes wrong will completely set them off. This is when anger management is desperately needed.

What Is Anger Management
The term anger management refers to a system or program that is put into place that gives an individual strategies and techniques so that they are able to control, reduce, or even eliminate the rage build up before it explodes. If a person loses control of a situation things can turn dangerous very quickly causing them to unleash on their family and friends. Anger management strategies are designed to help people return back to a healthy and normal life.

Taking A Break
I find this method the least effective in the long run but it does have some value. If you are able to remove yourself from the person, thing, or event before the anger turns into rage you might be able to defuse the situation before it truly explodes. Reading, listening to music or even sitting alone with your thoughts are all excellent ways that a person can take a break from the situation. Remember, being removed from the person or situation that triggers the anger is just an immediate response to keeping everyone safe both physically and emotionally. A long-term solution is still needed.

Owning Up To The Anger
Although it is human nature to blame our anger on another person or situation especially when we feel that it is brought on by being in that situation or near that individual, the anger actually belongs to the person who is feeling it. Because it belongs solely to the person who is feeling the anger it is up to that person to learn how to keep it in check or under control.

Owning up to our feelings and taking a good hard look in the mirror is not the easiest thing to do but it is a necessary step in the process. A person has to accept the responsibility for what they are feeling before they can take measures to get it under control. We must be able to admit to ourselves that we alone created what we are feeling inside, even if it is a result of someone else's actions or situations. We are the ones who created the feelings inside of us. When we finally accept that we have created the feelings that we are having inside of us and also accept responsibility for the outcome that resulted from those feelings, we can learn to let it go or at least find better ways to respond when we find ourselves back in those situations. There is still more work to do to fully let it go and move on.

Before I even start to talk about confrontation I must start out by saying that there is a healthy way and a very unhealthy way to do this. I am going to explain both ways and stress the importance of not going in an unhealthy direction.

An unhealthy confrontation can lead to even greater anger or lead to a dangerous situation. Never confront anyone when you are in the rage or anger mode. Never start out by placing blame on anyone as this will just lead them into a defensive posture and at this juncture nothing will be resolved.

In a healthy confrontation you must talk to the individuals involved with the situation in a calm and rational tone to try to get to the heart of the matter. To find out what actually started this in the first place. You may find that it was just an honest misunderstanding. Working things out through talk and understanding will build and strengthen this relationship when the conflict is finally resolved.

However, there are times when everyone involved just has to except that on some issues there are differences of opinions that will always remain. Remember, you can't always change other people's minds or make them do whatever you want them to do. How many people have been able to change your beliefs or control your actions? Ask yourself this question. Is the relationship important to you and worth keeping? If the answer is yes, then sometimes you just have to let it go and except that on certain subjects you will always disagree. Remember we are all different but deserve equal respect for our beliefs and opinions.

Hypnosis can often be a very helpful tool when dealing with anger issues. Hypnosis can help change the way a person thinks and feels about a particular situation. Changing the way you think and react is a much healthier way of coping and dealing with situations as they arise. It is easier to change yourself then someone else. Under hypnosis it is possible to change the way a person reacts to others by changing their own thought patterns preventing the triggers that cause the anger to get out of hand in the first place.

Whatever anger management strategy is chosen I feel that it is important to seek the advice and guidance of a professional who is trained and qualified to help implement the proper anger management Strategies.
Doctor Robert A. Bofman is a Certified Master Clinical Hypnotherapist an author and the director of one of the leading hypnosis centers in the US. Hypnosis can help you to overcome phobias and fears, conquer addictions, stop smoking, lose weight, manage stress or change and improve virtually any aspect of our life.
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